This time last year,
I was, as far as I remember, sitting on an exercise ball counting contractions!!!
I had been in labor since 6pm and we left for the hospital around 12:30am. My contractions were, at most, 1-2 minutes apart. Many had no spacings and it felt like a 10 minute long contraction!
When I arrived at the hospital, I was barely dilated.
Around 4:30 am I received Nubain (I believe) after fighting through painful contractions, one of which lasted 3 or 4 minutes and had me in tears by the end.
Around 7 or 8 am, they broke my water and told me that there was meconium (baby poop) in my water. So much for holding my baby after her birth.
After that, times are fuzzy.
I got the epidural after having a panic attack and getting anxiety medication through my IV at some point. Probably 8am or so.
My daughter's feet were in my ribs, so no amount of epidural boosts could ease that pain. And I got quite a few of them!
I stalled at 9 1/2 centimeters, then finally got to 10!
Pushing was ineffective, but my nurse assumed it was me who just wasn't trying hard enough.
She told me if I didn't push harder, She'd have them give me a c-section.
At that point, I hadn't even felt the need to push!!
Shortly after, I did and I pushed with all my might every contraction. I had no choice in the matter. My body made me.
After her angry glares, I finally told her "Fine. Get me the stupid C-section, this is obviously not working"
The doctor told me he was going to try using a vacuum, and after pushing, being vacuumed and having an episiotomy (quite a large one, at that!) my 8lb 14oz baby girl arrived at 7:21 pm January 28th, 2010. I was 38 weeks and 5 days pregnant.
I remember crying "the pain is gone!" and my mom tearfully told me "She's out! She's out!"
They rushed her away, All I saw were two little feet. I heard no crying until they suctioned her, and then burst into tears even more hearing her little cry.
My mom snuck over and got a picture. I saw my baby on a camera phone, then it got very hazy...
After her birth, They couldn't stop the bleeding. My blood pressure plummeted and I faintly remember a nurse pushing on my stomach and all I felt were gushes upon gushes of blood.
I started to pass out off and on, barely waking up long enough to say "Can I have some water? Can I have fruit?" My mom wouldn't leave my side, just told me she would soon. I didn't know why until they told me the next day.
They managed to stop the bleeding with a shot in my leg, which I barely remember.
I'm not sure what they did with my daughter while all this was going on. My mom was supposed to cut the cord, but she didn't. My perfect birth had gone horribly wrong.
They handed her to me at some point, and mama instinct immediately nursed her.
She was a pro, though the nurse insisted I use a nipple shield. I used it maybe twice before tossing it. It wasn't working and it was making me angry.
Low on blood, I dozed often. Usually while feeding my newborn.
The nurses repeatedly came in and took her from me, telling me they don't allow women to sleep with their babies in their arms.
The first time, my mom woke up to her crying and gave her to me.
The second time, my mom was sleeping deeply. She was exhausted.
So I cried along with my newborn, unable and not allowed to get out of bed.
In the morning, I received a blood transfusion. Not a happy mama!
I wasn't allowed up for a couple days.. So I didn't get to change her first diaper.
I didn't get to pick her up when she cried in the bed, so instead I held her in my arms.
When the nurses weren't in the room, I dozed, but I quickly learned to wake up the second I heard footsteps entering the room. They weren't taking my baby again.
For breakfast, I always had fruit, iced tea, and bacon. Sometimes a bagel,too.
Lunch was always a chicken salad sandwich (or two) with iced tea,
and dinner was turkey with potato and green beans. Again, with iced tea.
I had other options, but I chose comfort foods.
The pain was terrible, but it was all worth it.
We stayed a couple extra days because of me, then another day (maybe two?) because she was jaundice. I refused to allow them to give her a bottle (one nurse tried, without my consent, while standing a few feet away from me. Ashlynn refused to take the bottle. She screamed louder. I'm proud of my big girl!)
I believe we were there for 5 days.
Though the birth was not what I wanted it to be.. in any way.. It was all worth it for the most amazing child I have ever met in my life.
Mommy Loves You, Ashlynn Heather!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
The Inevitable,
I knew my father's side of the family would eventually voice their opinions, so I tried to prepare myself.
But I didn't prepare myself enough, it seems.
My aunt told my grandmother (my father's mother, who is very, very religious) that I came out as a lesbian, and told me that it was okay, she would get used to it and that the rest of the family is okay with it. The want me happy.
I believed her until I spoke to my cousin.
My cousin informed me that my grandmother had asked her and my other aunt to pray for me.
Alright.. Tolerable I suppose.
My cousin also informed me that she didn't believe in my sexuality. She did not support it.
I asked if she was trying to pray me straight then.
She said no.
"its not a matter of being close minded its a matter of her faith/the familys faith and thats what we believe and we obviously dont hate you or stop loving you or anything we just all want to help you"
Help me? Help me with what?
Since when do I need help? I have an amazing daughter, I'm doing pretty well for myself, I have a very good relationship...
What exactly do I need help with? Becoming straight, of course!
We spoke for a bit and I asked her..
So, If I fall in love with a girl..it's not love to you?
Her reply?
"Lol of course not!!!"
Excuse me?
Love is love. It knows no gender, whether it be male and female, male and male, or female and female.
It got pretty heated after that.
As far as I'm concerned, if she can hop onto her soapbox to preach to me about my sexuality, she should follow the bible herself.
And, if you weren't aware, A woman who is not a virgin when married should be stoned to death.
A husband, according to the bible, needs a virgin to marry.
Premarital sex is frowned upon.
As are tattoos and piercings.
She has at least 3 piercings and was pregnant at her wedding.
But, as she claims, we don't follow the bible that closely.
Well why not? Why choose what you follow?
Either way, my daughter turns one tomorrow, and her birthday party is the day after, so I warned her that my sexuality is not to be brought up at any point.
If it is, the person who brings it up will have to leave immediately.
I'll hear them out, however. If I'm asked to "Help with something" (As I'm sure my grandmother will do) and it is brought up, I will listen, say "Thanks for your opinion, but I am who I am and I'm not changing for you, but I believe it's time you leave", then walk away.
My mom and I already agreed that all I'll have to do is signal to her and she will take care of whoever dares cause drama.
The party is to celebrate my daughter turning one, not to question my choices or sexuality.
But I didn't prepare myself enough, it seems.
My aunt told my grandmother (my father's mother, who is very, very religious) that I came out as a lesbian, and told me that it was okay, she would get used to it and that the rest of the family is okay with it. The want me happy.
I believed her until I spoke to my cousin.
My cousin informed me that my grandmother had asked her and my other aunt to pray for me.
Alright.. Tolerable I suppose.
My cousin also informed me that she didn't believe in my sexuality. She did not support it.
I asked if she was trying to pray me straight then.
She said no.
"its not a matter of being close minded its a matter of her faith/the familys faith and thats what we believe and we obviously dont hate you or stop loving you or anything we just all want to help you"
Help me? Help me with what?
Since when do I need help? I have an amazing daughter, I'm doing pretty well for myself, I have a very good relationship...
What exactly do I need help with? Becoming straight, of course!
We spoke for a bit and I asked her..
So, If I fall in love with a girl..it's not love to you?
Her reply?
"Lol of course not!!!"
Excuse me?
Love is love. It knows no gender, whether it be male and female, male and male, or female and female.
It got pretty heated after that.
As far as I'm concerned, if she can hop onto her soapbox to preach to me about my sexuality, she should follow the bible herself.
And, if you weren't aware, A woman who is not a virgin when married should be stoned to death.
A husband, according to the bible, needs a virgin to marry.
Premarital sex is frowned upon.
As are tattoos and piercings.
She has at least 3 piercings and was pregnant at her wedding.
But, as she claims, we don't follow the bible that closely.
Well why not? Why choose what you follow?
Either way, my daughter turns one tomorrow, and her birthday party is the day after, so I warned her that my sexuality is not to be brought up at any point.
If it is, the person who brings it up will have to leave immediately.
I'll hear them out, however. If I'm asked to "Help with something" (As I'm sure my grandmother will do) and it is brought up, I will listen, say "Thanks for your opinion, but I am who I am and I'm not changing for you, but I believe it's time you leave", then walk away.
My mom and I already agreed that all I'll have to do is signal to her and she will take care of whoever dares cause drama.
The party is to celebrate my daughter turning one, not to question my choices or sexuality.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
This Mama Isn't a Single Mama Anymore!
First off, I'd like to make it known that after years of seriously thinking, experimenting, etc, I've determined that I'm not attracted to men. This mama is a lesbian mama.
Signs I noticed include, but are not limited to;
With the boys, I'll admit it was mainly sexual. But I wasn't really attracted to them physically. It was more their personality that would draw me in. And, as my friend put it, all of them were baby-faced with softer features, like a girl.
I have since lost all attraction to men, but still constantly notice women.
So I started speaking to a friend of mine who is married with an 8 month old son.
To cut to the chase, her marriage is an open marriage on her part, since she is bisexual.
Her husband has no problem with her dating (yes, having an actual emotional/sexual relationship) a girl. If anything, he supports it! And no strings involved, either.
So after a while of her and I pondering the subject and opportunities, We decided to give it a go.
This type of relationship is referred to as Polyamory.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory
Polyamory (from Greek πολύ [poly, meaning many or several] and Latin amor [love]) is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
In a nutshell, she is a married woman with a girlfriend at the same time. No secrets in either relationship.
If all goes well, I see this becoming a long-term thing, which would give Ashlynn a "father figure" (a positive male role model, at least) in her life, as well as TWO mommy figures. A primary mommy, me, who provides everything for her, as well as a secondary mommy.
Then came coming out..and telling a select few family members about my relationship.
Coming out went well. No negative comments (Yes, I did it through facebook. It was a quick, easy way to tell a lot of people at once) and a few people weren't surprised in the least.
Telling my family about my girlfriend didn't go nearly as well.
My mom thought nothing of "informing" me that my girlfriend thought of me as a "Good F***, Something on the side"
excuse me?
She's not supportive in the least, but she's not going to try to sabotage the relationship either.
Her mom, my grandmother, was much much more open about it.
She's not "excited" per say, but she's not opposed like my mom is, either.
As long as I'm happy and in a good relationship, she's happy as well.
And, too add, Ashlynn loves my girlfriend and her husband, as well as their son (Though he tries to kiss her and she HATES it! Typical girl avoiding those boy cooties)
To end this post, here are some Polyamory factoids!
Signs I noticed include, but are not limited to;
- When out with friends, I didn't notice the men/boys they pointed out. I noticed the girlfriend of said person.
- I never noticed men/boys on TV. All the TV stars my friends were in love with I didn't find attractive. But I did notice girls/women.
- When poster shopping, I never found myself interested in half-naked men. Half-naked women was another story.
- I realized recently that as a young child, I had a crush on Xena from Xena Warrior Princess.. I was probably 5 at the time.
- Body/Chest/Facial hair freaks me out pretty badly. I don't like it.
With the boys, I'll admit it was mainly sexual. But I wasn't really attracted to them physically. It was more their personality that would draw me in. And, as my friend put it, all of them were baby-faced with softer features, like a girl.
I have since lost all attraction to men, but still constantly notice women.
So I started speaking to a friend of mine who is married with an 8 month old son.
To cut to the chase, her marriage is an open marriage on her part, since she is bisexual.
Her husband has no problem with her dating (yes, having an actual emotional/sexual relationship) a girl. If anything, he supports it! And no strings involved, either.
So after a while of her and I pondering the subject and opportunities, We decided to give it a go.
This type of relationship is referred to as Polyamory.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory
Polyamory (from Greek πολύ [poly, meaning many or several] and Latin amor [love]) is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
In a nutshell, she is a married woman with a girlfriend at the same time. No secrets in either relationship.
If all goes well, I see this becoming a long-term thing, which would give Ashlynn a "father figure" (a positive male role model, at least) in her life, as well as TWO mommy figures. A primary mommy, me, who provides everything for her, as well as a secondary mommy.
Then came coming out..and telling a select few family members about my relationship.
Coming out went well. No negative comments (Yes, I did it through facebook. It was a quick, easy way to tell a lot of people at once) and a few people weren't surprised in the least.
Telling my family about my girlfriend didn't go nearly as well.
My mom thought nothing of "informing" me that my girlfriend thought of me as a "Good F***, Something on the side"
excuse me?
She's not supportive in the least, but she's not going to try to sabotage the relationship either.
Her mom, my grandmother, was much much more open about it.
She's not "excited" per say, but she's not opposed like my mom is, either.
As long as I'm happy and in a good relationship, she's happy as well.
And, too add, Ashlynn loves my girlfriend and her husband, as well as their son (Though he tries to kiss her and she HATES it! Typical girl avoiding those boy cooties)
To end this post, here are some Polyamory factoids!
Values within polyamory
- Fidelity and loyalty: Many polyamorists define fidelity not as sexual exclusivity but as faithfulness to the promises and agreements made about a relationship. A secret sexual relationship that violates those accords would be seen as a breach of fidelity. Polyamorists generally base definitions of commitment on considerations other than sexual exclusivity, e.g. "trust and honesty" or "growing old together".
- Communication and negotiation: Because there is no "standard model" for polyamorous relationships, and reliance upon common expectations may not be realistic, polyamorists often advocate explicitly deciding the ground rules of their relationships with all concerned, and often emphasize that this should be an ongoing process of communication and respect. Polyamorists usually take a pragmatic approach to their relationships; they accept that sometimes they and their partners will make mistakes and fail to live up to these ideals, and that communication is important for repairing any breaches.
- Trust, honesty, dignity and respect: Most polyamorists emphasize respect, trust, and honesty for all partners. A partner's partners should be accepted as part of that person's life rather than merely tolerated, and a relationship that requires deception, or where partners are not allowed to express their individual lives, is often seen as a poor model.
- Gender equality: Most polyamorists do not believe in different relationship "rules" based on gender, a point of contrast with some forms of religious non-monogamy. However the ground rules of each relationship are negotiable, and very occasionally a couple will agree upon an asymmetric degree of freedom among the partners (who need not be of different genders) due to individual differences and needs.
- Non-possessiveness: Polyamorists believe that excessive restrictions on other deep relationships are not for the best, as they tend to replace trust with a framework of ownership and control. They often strive to see their partner's partners in terms of the gain to their partner's life rather than the threat to their own. Poly relationships often involve negotiated agreements or "ground rules"; these agreements vary widely and may change over time, but could include consultation about new relationships, or seeking an existing partner's veto or approval.
- Mutual support: This requires that each partner will support, and not undermine, the other, and will not deliberately use a secondary relationship to harm another party or relationship.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Baby Cravings
As I've said before, I'm 18. I turn 19 Feb 22nd and I'm in no way ready for a second child, neither financially nor mentally.
However, last night I had a very interesting dream. I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! I was pregnant! I also knew I was 8 weeks along, which would be very unlikely if it was not a dream. I am very in tune to my body and KNEW I was pregnant before I took the pregnancy test at only 3 weeks 3 days. My LMP before becoming pregnant was May 5th, and I took a test based purely on how I felt on May 29th. Positive. I have no doubt in my mind that it will be the same when I have my 2nd a few years down the road.
I was excited, thrilled even. I told my mom and she told me it was OK that I was pregnant and that things will be fine. She was happy!
I woke up, knowing fully well I was not pregnant. It is physically impossible, as I have not done anything that could create a child (even anything that has a .00001% chance of creating a child) since prior to finding out I was pregnant.
I also knew that my mom would NOT be happy if I got pregnant anytime soon, and it would NOT be okay.
I also remember in this dream that someone told me to get an abortion. I know for a fact I would never be able to do that, and I reacted the same way in the dream.
Can you say baby cravings? Looks like my body wants to have baby number 2 NOW. Too bad I'm not going to give my body what it wants! =)
I must say though, it was a good dream. As long as it stays a dream.
To add, if by chance I ever got pregnant prior to being ready, which is highly unlikely, I know I would not be able to give up or abort my child. So fingers crossed it does not happen. At least not for another 5-10 years, leaning towards 6-7..
However, last night I had a very interesting dream. I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! I was pregnant! I also knew I was 8 weeks along, which would be very unlikely if it was not a dream. I am very in tune to my body and KNEW I was pregnant before I took the pregnancy test at only 3 weeks 3 days. My LMP before becoming pregnant was May 5th, and I took a test based purely on how I felt on May 29th. Positive. I have no doubt in my mind that it will be the same when I have my 2nd a few years down the road.
I was excited, thrilled even. I told my mom and she told me it was OK that I was pregnant and that things will be fine. She was happy!
I woke up, knowing fully well I was not pregnant. It is physically impossible, as I have not done anything that could create a child (even anything that has a .00001% chance of creating a child) since prior to finding out I was pregnant.
I also knew that my mom would NOT be happy if I got pregnant anytime soon, and it would NOT be okay.
I also remember in this dream that someone told me to get an abortion. I know for a fact I would never be able to do that, and I reacted the same way in the dream.
Can you say baby cravings? Looks like my body wants to have baby number 2 NOW. Too bad I'm not going to give my body what it wants! =)
I must say though, it was a good dream. As long as it stays a dream.
To add, if by chance I ever got pregnant prior to being ready, which is highly unlikely, I know I would not be able to give up or abort my child. So fingers crossed it does not happen. At least not for another 5-10 years, leaning towards 6-7..
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
She's SHY!
Who knew!
We were at Ashlynn's check up for her ears yesterday and she was running around, yelling up a storm and playing with these two little plastic animals (An elephant and a tiger) that roar/make elephant sounds when you hit a button on their belly.. They were dying though, so it sounded really strange.
She was being VERY loud and VERY outgoing..until the Dr walked in!
The second that door opened, she stopped walking and didn't make a peep.
Actually, she didn't make another peep until we left the building altogether!
The check went well, though. The infection is GONE and she's not to have any Amoxicillin for 6 months because of the rash. He thinks it's just an amoxicillin rash, which is sort of common, but just in case he decided to keep her away from it for 6 months. If she needs it after that, I can try it again. If another rash shows up (with the amox. rash, it only happens once and then never again) she will be marked as allergic.
Funny thing... Before we left I got her to walk to me, just to show off her skills. But then my mom thought she'd show the Dr. what happens when you put her shoes on!
See, Ashlynn seems to think that putting shoes on her cements her to the floor..She won't move her feet unless you make her, or unless she gets down and crawls.
The second she was put down with her shoes on, she stood..and stood.
The Doctor suggested we leave the room. He left. She still stood. My mom left. Still stood.
I started to leave, she got down and crawled to me.
I don't see her walking with shoes anytime soon!
Happy 1/11/11!
We were at Ashlynn's check up for her ears yesterday and she was running around, yelling up a storm and playing with these two little plastic animals (An elephant and a tiger) that roar/make elephant sounds when you hit a button on their belly.. They were dying though, so it sounded really strange.
She was being VERY loud and VERY outgoing..until the Dr walked in!
The second that door opened, she stopped walking and didn't make a peep.
Actually, she didn't make another peep until we left the building altogether!
The check went well, though. The infection is GONE and she's not to have any Amoxicillin for 6 months because of the rash. He thinks it's just an amoxicillin rash, which is sort of common, but just in case he decided to keep her away from it for 6 months. If she needs it after that, I can try it again. If another rash shows up (with the amox. rash, it only happens once and then never again) she will be marked as allergic.
Funny thing... Before we left I got her to walk to me, just to show off her skills. But then my mom thought she'd show the Dr. what happens when you put her shoes on!
See, Ashlynn seems to think that putting shoes on her cements her to the floor..She won't move her feet unless you make her, or unless she gets down and crawls.
The second she was put down with her shoes on, she stood..and stood.
The Doctor suggested we leave the room. He left. She still stood. My mom left. Still stood.
I started to leave, she got down and crawled to me.
I don't see her walking with shoes anytime soon!
Happy 1/11/11!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Lovely Little Rash....And Some Car Seat Safety Info (And A Rant!)
All over her little body. Head to toe.. literally.
She woke up this morning and I noticed her cheeks had little, raised red bumps.. Very small, and they didn't seem to be bothering her. I gave her her normal dose of amoxicillin and not too long after, my mom pointed to her back and said "Is this the rash you mentioned to me?"
Yep.. It spread to her back. Within another 30 minutes or so, it was on her legs.. I took off her shirt to see how bad it was on her back and noticed it was on her arms and tummy too!
It was worse on her right side, not as bad on the left..but still there.
I called her Dr. The nurse who answered said it was a common rash (called a amoxicillin rash) and nothing to worry about since she's off the meds on Monday. She also told me that if it had been day one or two of the meds instead of day 8, she'd change the medication because she wouldn't want Ashlynn being itchy and uncomfortable for that long..
But for now, we're using benadryl to keep the rash to a minimum (though it hasn't seemed to have done anything but stop the spreading)
It's not an allergy, supposedly, though I wonder what exactly it is.. wouldn't a reaction to the medication be considered an allergy? Though at the same time, many medications have side effects, so that may be it as well. My mom did some research and this rash seems to occur in 5-10% of children, and often doesn't happen again if the child takes the amoxicillin again.
Hopefully that's what happens here!
My aunt had a severe reaction when she was younger. She vomited every time she took the medication, and I believe she also swelled up. Her doctor told my grandmother to continue giving the medication, but after a while my grandmother stopped listening...
Doctors are not always right.
Which brings me to an off-topic little...rant I suppose.
Tonight while on facebook, a friend of mine posted a photo of a young baby in her car, forward facing. I asked the child's age, and if she was forward facing (I wanted to be sure)
I received a message from her saying the child was 8 months old, and yes she was forward facing.
I asked why and she told me because when she put the seat in rear facing, it was too wobbly.
So I linked her to a youtube video on how to properly install a convertible car seat rear facing, and told her if she was unsure, many fire stations have someone certified who can help and show her how to do it. She told me she only took the baby "once in a while"
I said yes, once in a while..but all it takes is once. Better safe than sorry.
She agreed and I left it at that, saying I apologize if I came off as harsh, but it was a safety and legal issue that I felt needed to be addressed.
Not long after, the mother of the child commented on the photo..
Here's the "Debate" we had..
Her- She's fine facing forward. No worries.
I gave her this link; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sssIsceKd6U&feature=player_embedded and said there are worries, there's a law.. 20lbs AND one year old..
My comment was deleted. and NOT by me.
But she was quick to reply, nonetheless..
Her- i think its about time you worry bout your own kid and not mine. i dont care about a stupid video. her doctor said shes big enough so mind your own business and f*** off
Wonderful language.. way to sound mature.
I replied;
Yes, maybe it wasn't necessary to go that much into detail...but for crying out loud, it's a SAFETY hazard!
I also added "And -friend's name-.. I would prefer you didn't delete my comment. Not for her sake, but for anyone else lurking.. Not that many people know about that stuff.. Seriously, I'm not here to argue. It's just a safety thing not a lot of people know."
Then another woman, much older than the two of us as far as I can tell and a mother of two, jumped in..
None of my business but you were arguing in your last post. You said her Dr. should have there license revoked. If her Dr. said it's okay then why should it bother you?.....just sayin
I had no problem replying to that one.. It was a little silly of her to ask, to be honest..
Because it's illegal. If your Dr. says it's okay to shoot up heroin, even though it's illegal, does that make it okay?
Same thing really..
Then my friend, being the drama-lover she is, HAD to jump in..
your have a debate with a mother with two daughters!!! a.k.a (-woman's name here-)
And yes, that is EXACTLY what she said. I had to decipher it..
I replied, a bit cocky from knowing that they were wrong (What can I say? I like being right about things)
She woke up this morning and I noticed her cheeks had little, raised red bumps.. Very small, and they didn't seem to be bothering her. I gave her her normal dose of amoxicillin and not too long after, my mom pointed to her back and said "Is this the rash you mentioned to me?"
Yep.. It spread to her back. Within another 30 minutes or so, it was on her legs.. I took off her shirt to see how bad it was on her back and noticed it was on her arms and tummy too!
It was worse on her right side, not as bad on the left..but still there.
I called her Dr. The nurse who answered said it was a common rash (called a amoxicillin rash) and nothing to worry about since she's off the meds on Monday. She also told me that if it had been day one or two of the meds instead of day 8, she'd change the medication because she wouldn't want Ashlynn being itchy and uncomfortable for that long..
But for now, we're using benadryl to keep the rash to a minimum (though it hasn't seemed to have done anything but stop the spreading)
It's not an allergy, supposedly, though I wonder what exactly it is.. wouldn't a reaction to the medication be considered an allergy? Though at the same time, many medications have side effects, so that may be it as well. My mom did some research and this rash seems to occur in 5-10% of children, and often doesn't happen again if the child takes the amoxicillin again.
Hopefully that's what happens here!
My aunt had a severe reaction when she was younger. She vomited every time she took the medication, and I believe she also swelled up. Her doctor told my grandmother to continue giving the medication, but after a while my grandmother stopped listening...
Doctors are not always right.
Which brings me to an off-topic little...rant I suppose.
Tonight while on facebook, a friend of mine posted a photo of a young baby in her car, forward facing. I asked the child's age, and if she was forward facing (I wanted to be sure)
I received a message from her saying the child was 8 months old, and yes she was forward facing.
I asked why and she told me because when she put the seat in rear facing, it was too wobbly.
So I linked her to a youtube video on how to properly install a convertible car seat rear facing, and told her if she was unsure, many fire stations have someone certified who can help and show her how to do it. She told me she only took the baby "once in a while"
I said yes, once in a while..but all it takes is once. Better safe than sorry.
She agreed and I left it at that, saying I apologize if I came off as harsh, but it was a safety and legal issue that I felt needed to be addressed.
Not long after, the mother of the child commented on the photo..
Here's the "Debate" we had..
Her- She's fine facing forward. No worries.
I gave her this link; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sssIsceKd6U&feature=player_embedded and said there are worries, there's a law.. 20lbs AND one year old..
My comment was deleted. and NOT by me.
But she was quick to reply, nonetheless..
Her- i think its about time you worry bout your own kid and not mine. i dont care about a stupid video. her doctor said shes big enough so mind your own business and f*** off
Wonderful language.. way to sound mature.
I replied;
Her doctor need to have his license revoked then.
The CPS (Which, if you don't know, is the Child Passenger Safety Resource) says THIS about forward facing;
"It is strongly recommended that all children stay rear-facing beyond the minimum requirements of 1 year and 20 lbs. Children should not be turned forward-facing until they reach the maximum rear-facing limits of a convertible seat (that allows rear-facing to at least 30 lbs). These limits are either the maximum rear-facing weight limit or when the top of their head is within one inch of the top of the seat shell, whichever comes first. While most parents are aware that they must keep their children rear-facing "until they are AT LEAST 1 year old AND 20 lbs", very few are told that there are significant safety benefits when a child remains rear-facing as long as the seat allows. For most children, rear-facing can and should continue well into the second year of life. "
At LEAST one year old AND 20lbs. Not either or. Technically you can lose your drivers license for driving with a child under 1 year of age and/or under 20lbs that is forward facing.
But to each their own I guess. Just sharing some information, that in case you didn't know, is important to know. Not to mention illegal to do otherwise. Go ahead, ask any police officer or fireman.
It's safety, not convenience or "cuteness" of being able to see your child as you drive. It's important to your child's HEALTH and SAFETY. Children under 1 year of age can DIE in a car crash if they are forward facing..quite easily.
And trust me, I do worry about my own kid. She will be rear facing until she is at least 2 years old. Her car seat goes to 40lbs rear facing.
The CPS (Which, if you don't know, is the Child Passenger Safety Resource) says THIS about forward facing;
"It is strongly recommended that all children stay rear-facing beyond the minimum requirements of 1 year and 20 lbs. Children should not be turned forward-facing until they reach the maximum rear-facing limits of a convertible seat (that allows rear-facing to at least 30 lbs). These limits are either the maximum rear-facing weight limit or when the top of their head is within one inch of the top of the seat shell, whichever comes first. While most parents are aware that they must keep their children rear-facing "until they are AT LEAST 1 year old AND 20 lbs", very few are told that there are significant safety benefits when a child remains rear-facing as long as the seat allows. For most children, rear-facing can and should continue well into the second year of life. "
At LEAST one year old AND 20lbs. Not either or. Technically you can lose your drivers license for driving with a child under 1 year of age and/or under 20lbs that is forward facing.
But to each their own I guess. Just sharing some information, that in case you didn't know, is important to know. Not to mention illegal to do otherwise. Go ahead, ask any police officer or fireman.
It's safety, not convenience or "cuteness" of being able to see your child as you drive. It's important to your child's HEALTH and SAFETY. Children under 1 year of age can DIE in a car crash if they are forward facing..quite easily.
And trust me, I do worry about my own kid. She will be rear facing until she is at least 2 years old. Her car seat goes to 40lbs rear facing.
Yes, maybe it wasn't necessary to go that much into detail...but for crying out loud, it's a SAFETY hazard!
I also added "And -friend's name-.. I would prefer you didn't delete my comment. Not for her sake, but for anyone else lurking.. Not that many people know about that stuff.. Seriously, I'm not here to argue. It's just a safety thing not a lot of people know."
Then another woman, much older than the two of us as far as I can tell and a mother of two, jumped in..
None of my business but you were arguing in your last post. You said her Dr. should have there license revoked. If her Dr. said it's okay then why should it bother you?.....just sayin
I had no problem replying to that one.. It was a little silly of her to ask, to be honest..
Because it's illegal. If your Dr. says it's okay to shoot up heroin, even though it's illegal, does that make it okay?
Same thing really..
Then my friend, being the drama-lover she is, HAD to jump in..
your have a debate with a mother with two daughters!!! a.k.a (-woman's name here-)
And yes, that is EXACTLY what she said. I had to decipher it..
I replied, a bit cocky from knowing that they were wrong (What can I say? I like being right about things)
not that I am saying either is right but I can debate to as a mother of 3 daughters and a grandmother of one.......
while Kailey(that's me by the way) came across wrong (most definitely) she is stating a LAW about when children can ride forward facing, the law and police don't care what the doctor said......
while Kailey(that's me by the way) came across wrong (most definitely) she is stating a LAW about when children can ride forward facing, the law and police don't care what the doctor said......
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
You Need Some Photos!
Of my daughter!
Here's the cause of my joy every single day!
That's all for now, but I see more pictures in the near future!
Sorry they are so big :(
Monday, January 3, 2011
I Want To Adopt
Originally, my plan was to have NO biological children.
I didn't want to risk passing on my "bad" genes (the bad being the OCD, Anxiety, and Depression) because they run on both sides of my family, and not in a good way. I believe I'm the only one who went as far as to get help for my problems.. Everyone else is in denial or, in the case of one, so religious that they refuse to admit anything because God will help. I have nothing against religion.. Most of my family is at least slightly religious, but if it goes this far, I think there is a problem. Simply because people need to help themselves because it affects everyone around you.
But anyway.. I wanted to adopt a son with Autism. I spent years researching autism, different ways it presents itself, ways people help their child, etc. I can proudly say I was close to a pro on knowing signs and how to help the child.. though since then I have forgotten a lot of it.
I wanted a boy because our family is almost all girls. I have 6 biological cousins..and all but one..girls..
I have 4 biological aunts, no biological uncles.
I have a theory that our bodies actually destroy boys. My mother had a miscarriage that was not proven to have no baby (her others were) and when we did the "needle test" (A needle on a string, held over the hand, if it goes in circles it is a girl, if it goes back and forth it is a boy) it said Girl (me), Boy (We think her miscarriage), Girl (My 8 year old sister), then Girl (my 5 almost 6 year old sister).
When done on my grandmother, it says Girl (my aunt), Girl (my mom), Boy (She also had a miscarriage)
Mine said Boy, then Girl... But I was never pregnant before. Funny thing is, after we found out the gender it said Girl first..THEN Boy. But it said the same thing no matter who held the string..so I'm not really sure.
The age I want to adopt is anywhere from 3-6 years old.. Not too old, but also not an infant. I wanted a child, not an infant.
Now that I reevaluate the situation, I wouldn't mind an infant, but I still want a child.
Since having my daughter, I crave a pregnancy again (Don't worry, I'm practicing abstinence and have no intentions of having another for at least 5 years, preferably longer, and I want to be financially stable!) so I think I may consider having one more biological to try to have that precious boy I feel like I would have, then adopt a son. Two boys and a girl? Sounds good to me.
I have the typical worries.. Will I still love my first as much? Will I love my other child/ren as much as I love my precious firstborn?
With my parents, it seemed they lost "interest" in me once they had another. My father was never really there, so I don't consider him my "parent", but my mom and stepdad spent years trying to conceive my sister..using IVF and everything, and once she was born I noticed a significant decrease in interest in me. But it might have just been that my depression was kicking in. That's about when it began, and it wasn't caused by my sister.
I hope that either a) I can successfully raise 2-3 children as a single parent, or b) I can find a partner I can spend my life with, though I don't hold my breath on this one..
To sum this up,
I still want my adopted son. I feel that he is out there somewhere, not yet born but waiting for his mama to be ready for him.
I didn't want to risk passing on my "bad" genes (the bad being the OCD, Anxiety, and Depression) because they run on both sides of my family, and not in a good way. I believe I'm the only one who went as far as to get help for my problems.. Everyone else is in denial or, in the case of one, so religious that they refuse to admit anything because God will help. I have nothing against religion.. Most of my family is at least slightly religious, but if it goes this far, I think there is a problem. Simply because people need to help themselves because it affects everyone around you.
But anyway.. I wanted to adopt a son with Autism. I spent years researching autism, different ways it presents itself, ways people help their child, etc. I can proudly say I was close to a pro on knowing signs and how to help the child.. though since then I have forgotten a lot of it.
I wanted a boy because our family is almost all girls. I have 6 biological cousins..and all but one..girls..
I have 4 biological aunts, no biological uncles.
I have a theory that our bodies actually destroy boys. My mother had a miscarriage that was not proven to have no baby (her others were) and when we did the "needle test" (A needle on a string, held over the hand, if it goes in circles it is a girl, if it goes back and forth it is a boy) it said Girl (me), Boy (We think her miscarriage), Girl (My 8 year old sister), then Girl (my 5 almost 6 year old sister).
When done on my grandmother, it says Girl (my aunt), Girl (my mom), Boy (She also had a miscarriage)
Mine said Boy, then Girl... But I was never pregnant before. Funny thing is, after we found out the gender it said Girl first..THEN Boy. But it said the same thing no matter who held the string..so I'm not really sure.
The age I want to adopt is anywhere from 3-6 years old.. Not too old, but also not an infant. I wanted a child, not an infant.
Now that I reevaluate the situation, I wouldn't mind an infant, but I still want a child.
Since having my daughter, I crave a pregnancy again (Don't worry, I'm practicing abstinence and have no intentions of having another for at least 5 years, preferably longer, and I want to be financially stable!) so I think I may consider having one more biological to try to have that precious boy I feel like I would have, then adopt a son. Two boys and a girl? Sounds good to me.
I have the typical worries.. Will I still love my first as much? Will I love my other child/ren as much as I love my precious firstborn?
With my parents, it seemed they lost "interest" in me once they had another. My father was never really there, so I don't consider him my "parent", but my mom and stepdad spent years trying to conceive my sister..using IVF and everything, and once she was born I noticed a significant decrease in interest in me. But it might have just been that my depression was kicking in. That's about when it began, and it wasn't caused by my sister.
I hope that either a) I can successfully raise 2-3 children as a single parent, or b) I can find a partner I can spend my life with, though I don't hold my breath on this one..
To sum this up,
I still want my adopted son. I feel that he is out there somewhere, not yet born but waiting for his mama to be ready for him.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Our Sickies.. SOLVED!
So last night Ashlynn spiked yet another fever of 104.. 104.3 to be exact.
An hour later it had only dropped .2 degrees..
.2!!!!
My mom and I wet her with a damp washcloth, and I even tried the bath (she FREAKED..even when I sat in the bath with her.. and gave her toys!)
About 1 1/2-2 hours later, her temp was dropping, thankfully..so I got her back to bed at about 3:30am..
Then I went to do dishes (long story.. LOL)
This morning she slept until 1:30 in the afternoon.. latest yet. I KNEW she needed to see the Dr. so I got an appointment for 2:45.
My best friend drove us there and we got lost..got there 10 mins late, then had to wait a good 20+ minutes in the room..alone.. staring at puzzles and books that Ashlynn wanted nothing to do with.
I didn't check her temp, but I hadn't given her any meds since 2am and she was warm.. Probably 100-101..
She cried whenever I sat down (holding her, mind you) so I paced around the room..
Doctor came in, checked Ashlynn's breathing.. Commented on the stuffy nose and how hard it must be for Ashlynn to breathe with such a stuffy nose, then checked her ears.
"Yup..this one's sore!"
The other ear..
"This one too!"
Double ear infection!!!
This was my first guess..an ear infection. I didn't expect double, but I can't say it wasn't in the back of my head.
I'm thrilled that it's something we can easily treat with meds.
And, thankfully, she doesn't HATE the medication. Not a fan, but she doesn't hate them like she does the Up&Up brand of acetaminophen. She hates that with a passion. (Loves CVS brand though..)
I wish I had brought her before.. I'm sure they could have caught it on Tuesday, when she started with the sleepiness and weird poop. But I didn't know at the time, and didn't think TOO much of it.
Her fever was a low-grade today, nothing major..
And tonight I gave her ibuprofen at 11:30pm or so, just to keep the fever at bay..and guess what!
I checked her when she started to fuss about 10min ago (it's currently 1:53 am) and she has NO fever! NOTHING!
She's actually quite cool!!!
Poor girl has achy ears though.. she started tugging them for the first time today.. A lot.
Wish her a quick healing!
And HAPPY NEW YEARS!
An hour later it had only dropped .2 degrees..
.2!!!!
My mom and I wet her with a damp washcloth, and I even tried the bath (she FREAKED..even when I sat in the bath with her.. and gave her toys!)
About 1 1/2-2 hours later, her temp was dropping, thankfully..so I got her back to bed at about 3:30am..
Then I went to do dishes (long story.. LOL)
This morning she slept until 1:30 in the afternoon.. latest yet. I KNEW she needed to see the Dr. so I got an appointment for 2:45.
My best friend drove us there and we got lost..got there 10 mins late, then had to wait a good 20+ minutes in the room..alone.. staring at puzzles and books that Ashlynn wanted nothing to do with.
I didn't check her temp, but I hadn't given her any meds since 2am and she was warm.. Probably 100-101..
She cried whenever I sat down (holding her, mind you) so I paced around the room..
Doctor came in, checked Ashlynn's breathing.. Commented on the stuffy nose and how hard it must be for Ashlynn to breathe with such a stuffy nose, then checked her ears.
"Yup..this one's sore!"
The other ear..
"This one too!"
Double ear infection!!!
This was my first guess..an ear infection. I didn't expect double, but I can't say it wasn't in the back of my head.
I'm thrilled that it's something we can easily treat with meds.
And, thankfully, she doesn't HATE the medication. Not a fan, but she doesn't hate them like she does the Up&Up brand of acetaminophen. She hates that with a passion. (Loves CVS brand though..)
I wish I had brought her before.. I'm sure they could have caught it on Tuesday, when she started with the sleepiness and weird poop. But I didn't know at the time, and didn't think TOO much of it.
Her fever was a low-grade today, nothing major..
And tonight I gave her ibuprofen at 11:30pm or so, just to keep the fever at bay..and guess what!
I checked her when she started to fuss about 10min ago (it's currently 1:53 am) and she has NO fever! NOTHING!
She's actually quite cool!!!
Poor girl has achy ears though.. she started tugging them for the first time today.. A lot.
Wish her a quick healing!
And HAPPY NEW YEARS!
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Then I spoke with my mother about it..and she made her own opinions and replied as well! Then, for now, the debate died off. Victory? I doubt it.
My mom-